A Real Live Dahl

Arlene Dahl onstage at the Flamingo Hotel, Las Vegas, 1962

The Wearin' O' The Green...

...to match the color on everyone's face when you're fabulous, darlings.

We Dare You...

...to go to the beauty parlor and ask for "the Hazel," darlings.

Seeing Spots

Ava Gardner

Elizabeth Taylor

Arlene Dahl

Rhonda Fleming

Diana Dors

Jayne Mansfield

Laurette Luez

Gene Tierney

A Dahl's House

Yesterday, we dreamt that we paid a visit to Arlene Dahl's charming apartment, circa 1976, in the company of gossip columnist Shirley Eder. In the dream, we are waiting in the apartment (which we dream to be done all in white and Chinese yellow, to best set off Dahl's flaming red tresses) for Arlene to come home; when Arlene finally makes her entrance, Shirley is on the phone, "acting on a tip," so Arlene lavishes her attention on us. We and Arlene mutually exclaim over how gorgeous the other looks, and then giggle as we both admit that everyone always tells us the same thing. "Well, darling," we tell Arlene, "we have three things in common: good genes, good taste, and upkeep." Arlene nods sagely.

One Bad Apple

Bette Davis and Olivia de Havilland in In This Our Life (Warner Bros., 1942)

Jo Ann Marlowe and Ann Blyth in Mildred Pierce (Warner Bros., 1945)

Kim Hunter and Vivien Leigh in A Streetcar Named Desire (Warner Bros., 1951)

Faith Domergue and Linda Darnell in This Is My Love (RKO, 1954)

Rhonda Fleming and Arlene Dahl in Slightly Scarlet (RKO, 1956)

Mamie Van Doren and Elinor Donahue in Girls Town (MGM, 1959)

Sisters. It's Complicated.

Saturday Shades Of Arlene Dahl

Darling Liliane

She stalks the stage like a tigress, long, lean, lithe. Whippet thin and yet all woman -- not a hint of a waif-like urchin, or the trace of the athletic tomboy. Markedly French, deliciously feminine, intoxicatingly glamorous: we could only be describing Liliane Montevecchi, the feather boa-ed diva of MGM pictures; the Folies Bergère; the original Broadway production of Nine, which won her a Tony; and, now, a new one woman act entitled Hello, Darlings, which opened last night at 54 Below.

Taking the stage in all black, the left leg of her flowing pants slit and ruffled up the thigh to expose a leg to make Dietrich and Charisse sigh in envy, La Montevecchi held us all enthralled with her throaty, expressive voice and exquisite presence. The song program held few true surprises ("La Vie En Rose"? Check. "Les Feuilles Morte [Autumn Leaves]"? Check. "Ne Me Quitte Pas"? Check.), but what counted was the presentation. It was a master class in owning a stage, and commanding an audience. It was absolutely compelling. This sophisticated, New York audience banged tables, shouted anguished declarations of love, screamed and "Brava!"-ed. 

Liliane Montevecchi in the 1950's: the legs look even better today.

We are also happy to report that we can now add "made our nightclub debut" to our resume -- we were summoned with one of La Montevecchi's elegant, flawlessly lacquered fingers to the stage. Truth be told, we didn't have to do much -- in fact, "You just sort of stand there... Don't move!" as "our" number instructed. Yes, darlings, last night, we were Liliane Montevecchi's human prop for "A New Fangled Tango." When we first stepped into the spotlight, we looked out at the audience. "Don't look at them!" La Montevecchi said sharply, in a tone worthy of Gloria Swanson. "Only look at me!" Of course, we did as we were told. And it wasn't difficult to do, with those enormous, coal-black eyes of hers rooting us firmly in place.

When the song ended, we stood still for a moment as the crowd applauded. In what we imagined displayed crack comic timing, we stage whispered out of the corner of our mouth, "May I move now?" Exiting the nightclub some time later, we stopped by the table of Marilyn Maye, who just wrapped up her own triumphant, two-weeks-long-and-then-some-by-popular-demand run at 54 Below (read about it here). "Honey, a star is born!" she joked. It was only after we stepped outside and began our walk home that we suddenly went weak in the knees, and everything seemed a little blurry. My God, we realized. We had just been on stage with Liliane Montevecchi, in front of Marilyn Maye. And Tommy Tune. And Arlene Dahl. And heaven knows who else. (Ms. Montevecchi isn't big on celebrity introductions from the stage.) Oh, all we had to do was stand still and be a stooge, but what a great audience to be a stooge for! 

Arlene Dahl

Tommy Tune

Marvelous Marilyn Maye

It was a thrilling evening of stories, songs, and leg lifting (yes, she can still raise one above her head without hesitation) and Liliane Montevecchi is only performing one more show at 54 Below, tonight. See you on the stage!

Buy tickets here.

Better Red Than Dead

Arlene Dahl, 1965

Susan Hayward in Where Love Has Gone (1964, Paramount)

Rhonda Fleming, c. 1964

But Alive

Lauren Bacall

Anne Baxter

Arlene Dahl

Eleanor Parker

All but one of 'em.

Welcome to the Dahl House

"Joan Crawford can't forget an innocent remark I made at my first Hollywood party...I said, 'I'm glad to meet you, Miss Crawford. You've always been a great favorite of mine, and my mother's, too.' I didn't mean to say that she was older than Methusela, but there was such an embarrasing silence I wanted to die." - Arlene Dahl

Queen Joan

Was there every any real doubt as to who would ultimately wear SSUWAT's coveted crown? Joan Crawford's entire life was an upward struggle to succeed, and she fiercely protected and defended the image she had worked so hard to create and maintain. It's easy to make fun of Crawford: the exaggerated eyebrows, shoulders and lips; the overly coordinated ensembles (with plastic-covered handbags and f*ck-me pumps to match); the intensity she would bring to scenes and dialogue that sometimes cried out for a lighter touch; the endless spate of tacky Mommie Dearest jokes.


But, in the end, Joan Crawford deserves our respect for her unyielding devotion to the business of being a Movie Star. Whatever her talent was as an actress -- and we do think Crawford's abilities are often given short shrift -- it paled in comparison to the frighteningly focused way she managed her fame and her public. No one played the game better than Joan Crawford, and she rarely let the facade drop. If Joan's biggest failing as a human being was her complete lack of empathy for those who were less driven than she, it must be noted that she demanded no more of her children, co-workers or employees than she demanded of herself -- it's just that very few others possessed her superhuman capacity for self-discipline.


In compiling our list of the dozen most-frequently-posted divas (who actually comprise the Top 10; there were two "ties" with equal numbers of posts), Joan Crawford far outpaced the competition; we have featured her no less than 135 times! Her closest competition was, ironically, her old nemesis Marilyn Monroe, who logged 66 posts -- tying her with rival bombshell Jayne Mansfield. The "runners up" who didn't make the Top 10, but still have been featured over 20 times a piece are:

Arlene Dahl

Doris Day

Ann-Margret

Sophia Loren

Barbara Stanwyck

Arlene Francis

Susan Hayward

What sayeth thou, fair readers? Who do you think deserving of a place in the Top 10? Who should be edged out of the current crop? Discuss!

Scarlet Woman

Puff

With and without a muff.