Have a Cow, Man

Over lunch yesterday...

FRIEND (admiring mink scarf): "I love your dead animal."

BLOGGER: "Thanks. I can't stand self-righteous anti-fur people who don't commit to it 100 percent. I mean, did the chicken that they had for dinner die of natural causes? And unless they're wearing plastic shoes, I don't wanna hear them complain about fur."

FRIEND: "What do you mean?"

BLOGGER: "You know, leather. Did the cow die of old age? Please."

FRIEND: "Gee, I never thought of leather being from a cow."

BLOGGER (incredulously): "Are you serious?"

FRIEND: "Yeah. I mean, I guess I always thought that leather was, I dunno, some kinda synthetic material or something."

BLOGGER (toying with a half-eaten hamburger): "Ummm...no."

FRIEND: "So, leather comes from cows?"

BLOGGER: "Yes."

(FRIEND digests this information silently for a moment.)

FRIEND: "What about patent leather?"

BLOGGER (Stares at FRIEND for two beats, then a la Bea Arthur): "From a patented cow, Rose!"