LOVED Mr. Franciscus.... That was a man. Sadly, my first introduction to him was as the polyester wearing, white patent leather-shoed Bob Spangler in When Time Ran Out. But even in that tripe, and playing a jerk, he was sexy. He was at his hunkiest for me in Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Yum...
Beneath the Planet of the Apes - better than porn for a budding pubescent perv like me! Impossibly handsome blond astronaut James Franciscus, forced to flaunt his action figure pecs and abs by wearing nothing more than a loincloth, leash, and leather slave collar, is captured, caged, and manhandled by redneck military gorillas before being telepathically tortured by bald, translucent-skinned subterranean mutants. The mutants make him force himself on swimsuit-model-circa-10,000-B.C. Kim Hunter, who, incredibly, resists. Then they have him death-wrestle Charlton Heston, whose hairy mantits and beergut, bad buckteeth, and simian skull make you wonder if Chuck hasn’t gone native on the ape planet. That movie was fantasy fodder for years!
Fell madly in love with JF in something called Youngblood Hawk. That movie was tripe, but who cared?
ReplyDeleteWith Eva Gabor! And Suzanne Pleshette! And Eva Gabor!
ReplyDeleteLOVED Mr. Franciscus.... That was a man. Sadly, my first introduction to him was as the polyester wearing, white patent leather-shoed Bob Spangler in When Time Ran Out. But even in that tripe, and playing a jerk, he was sexy. He was at his hunkiest for me in Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Yum...
ReplyDeleteSexy is as sexy does. Even in polyester and white patent leather.
ReplyDeleteBeneath the Planet of the Apes - better than porn for a budding pubescent perv like me! Impossibly handsome blond astronaut James Franciscus, forced to flaunt his action figure pecs and abs by wearing nothing more than a loincloth, leash, and leather slave collar, is captured, caged, and manhandled by redneck military gorillas before being telepathically tortured by bald, translucent-skinned subterranean mutants. The mutants make him force himself on swimsuit-model-circa-10,000-B.C. Kim Hunter, who, incredibly, resists. Then they have him death-wrestle Charlton Heston, whose hairy mantits and beergut, bad buckteeth, and simian skull make you wonder if Chuck hasn’t gone native on the ape planet. That movie was fantasy fodder for years!
ReplyDeletejt85 -- You need to submit that capsule synopsis to Leonard Maltin's Film Guide.
ReplyDeletehmmm, yeah...
ReplyDeleteor maybe Michael Medved