Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Sir Hump-a-Lot

In honor of Hump Day, we take great pleasure in revealing the name of our latest Mystery Guest: Guy Madison.

There isn't much more to say, except that Mr. Madison was quite possible the most perfect male specimen to ever walk the earth. We mean really, truly, earth-quakingly handsome - but beyond mere jaw-dropping beauty, he had raw sex appeal, to boot. Some pretty boys are undeniably...well, pretty, but not necessarily sexy. And some sexy mugs would never be mistaken for great beauties. The former Robert Moseley, though, had it all (except, some critics sneered, talent). Even better, as he aged, the quintessential boy next door matured into your best friend's ridiculously hot dad.

For those who enjoy the masochistic game of What Might Have Been, consider this lascivious excerpt from a recent biography of notorious Hollywood agent Henry Willson, who discovered Madison, Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter, Rory Calhoun, and every second hunky male starlet on the Universal and Warners lots:

"'Rory was fucking Guy. And they always told me they didn't like to do it with men,' [Willson said.] He confronted Guy, who insisted that his dalliance was a momentary lapse, the first and only time. 'But I knew it couldn't be true,' said Henry. 'Rory was so big, and Guy was taking him with no problem.' Rory later confessed that yes, their affair had been going on for months."

We need a cold shower now. Seriously.

StewieG, that little minx, was the first to tantalize us with his knowledge of the sexy swain straddling that Schwinn; he is granted the prize of being Rory Calhoun for the day. But, wait! - brbette is a special runner up, for having not only identified Mr. Madison, but researching the bike he was straddled upon! So, brbette gets to be the seat of Guy's bike. Which, if the whispers are true, would be pretty much be the same thing.


  1. Guy was not bad in the uncut package department either.. He and Rory both can sit on my face ,, ( bicycle built for two ) There's also a fantastick movie stil out there of Guy holding Robert Mitchum swooning or fainting in his arms..

  2. brbette, I'm about to use that still in my own tribute to Guy sometime soon! It looks like a 1958 version of Brokeback Mountain.

    I read that Willson bio about two months ago and it was juicy!! (But ultimately pretty sad.)

  3. An awful lot of wishful conjecture in that bio. But still fun to read. My favorite Guy movie is "Till The End of Time." There are scenes of Guy in that in which he is so beautiful it takes your breath away. And I love the scene when his mother comes to tuck him into bed (he is shirtless throughout it) and he sticks his leg out of the covers in defiance of her motherly smothering. Thanks, Tony!

  4. 'Rory was so big, and Guy was taking him with no problem.'

    does that mean what i imagine it means?

  5. Poseidon-
    "I read that Willson bio about two months ago and it was juicy!! (But ultimately pretty sad.)"

    Yeah, I read it when it came out, it's a perfect example of 'Oh, how the mighty have fallen'.

    And thinking of Rory and Guy results in, for me, a perfect example of 'Oh, how my tightie whities have fallen'!

  6. Guy Madison was the most beautiful and sexy man to ever appear on the silver screen. At 22, a beautiful and adorable sailor in "Since You Went Away"; at 24, the most beautiful hunk of all time in "Till the End of Time".
    The young Tyrone Power, Robert Taylor and Louis Jourdan, Tab Hunter and John Gavin are prime examples of beautiful men with limited sex appeal- unless you think, like me, that beauty is the greatest aphrodisiac.
    There's also the young Alain Delon who was both exceedingly beautiful and sexy but there was always something slightly sordid underneath his perfect features. Guy and all the beautiful men in my list were basically wholesome, men-next-door- if you happen to live in Olympus.

  7. Oh my faded goodness! I have been carrying the torch for Guy Madison for over 50 years. I had no idea there were others out there like me! Just posted a bunch of his pictures on my own web site thing-y.
    And you're right, TrippyTrellis & An Open Book: Guy is just heart-stoppingly beautiful in "Till The End of Time." I love it when he gets all pouty and tells Dorothy Maguire: "You're a tramp!"

  8. Yes, Norma, it means that they were fucking with good old Vaseline. Either that or Guy's ass-cunt was so wide that Port Authority should have been operating a toll booth at its portal. But I doubt that would be the case.

    But by God he was an absolute god in the days before all this plastic surgery and Photo Shop nonsense. And can you imagine his career had he been able to act?

  9. What I love about him is that his "look" doesn't seem dated. He appears very contemporary to me.

    He stars with Jean Simmons in Hilda Crane on The Fox Movie Channel February 27, 2010 12:00 pm ET


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