Are you feeling tired, rundown, listless? Does your complexion make the Rocky Mountains look like chiffon velvet? Do you get no kick from champagne?
If so, our highly trained staff is ready, willing and able to help you.
No challenge is too difficult for our beauty and charm professionals; and your privacy and discretion during your treatment is assured. Why, we wouldn't dream of telling anyone that FelixInHollywood, askthecoolcookie and normadesmond recently were here for what we call "The Works."
Only six months and who knows how many gallons of spackle later, and just look at the splendid results!
You, too, can benefit from our specialized treatments, including the popular Golddigers of 1933 Makeup Application Tutorial, guaranteed to land you a bank president bearing an uncanny resemblance to Adolphe Menjou.
And, of course, our graduation ceremony is the event of the season.
So why wait another minute? Sign up for the Stirred, Straight Up Beauty Treatment today. And, who knows? You may emerge such an alluring, poised, charming beauty, that you'll have eligible bachelors falling in line to wine and dine you.