Obey Thy Mommie

"Now, don't forget the attack commands, Cliquot: 'Bette' to maim, 'Christina' to kill."

Bonus Points...

...for anyone who can spot the cute puppy dog hiding somewhere in this photo of Guy Madison.

Plain Jayne

Serving Drag Ball Realness.

MISS JAYNE MANSFIELD
April 19, 1933 - June 29, 1967

Plain Jayne

 

 

Stars...they're just like US!

The Good Life

Live it up, darlings!

That Awkward Moment...

...when the apprentice surpasses the master.

Now You Know How It Feels...

 

 

 

AUDREY HEPBURN

May 4, 1929 - January 20, 1993

 

 

 

 

PIA ZADORA

May 4, 1954

 

...when the universe reels.

Mansfield Menagerie Monday

Alas, poor Jayne -- toward the end, her pets had more good hair days than she did.

Coming Up Rose's What?

Ethel Merman in the original Broadway production of Gypsy, 1959

"They've nicknamed her husband the Lizard of Roz, and what they call Rosalind Russell I can't repeat -- but it does rhyme with 'witch,' and you'll find her sort in a kennel!" - Ethel Merman

Rosalind Russell in Gypsy (1962, Warner Bros.)

Blonde Ambition

"She's a legend in her own mind." - Jayne Mansfield on Mae West

Bitch in Repose

We were referring to Cliquot, of course, darlings!

Battle of the Bouffants

"I recall a specific evening, not long after [President Kennedy] was assasinated in Dallas, when Jayne and I were sharing a bottle of champagne. Depressed, she wanted to talk about the late President. He had once told her, she recalled, that her voice was very much like that of his wife Jackie. The idea seemed to deepen her depression. She'd felt insulted.

"'Can you imagine that?' she asked. I could, because she did. 'I don't sound like her,' Jayne complained. 'She doesn't sound like anything.'" - Jayne Mansfield's former press secretary, Raymond Strait

J.C. vs. J.C.

"A middle-aged, regal, but not terribly attractive woman in a sea-green silk dress embroidered with sequins in the fashionable ‘short in front and long in back’ style. With eyebrows as thick and dark as Groucho’s, lipstick and matching nail varnish obviously ‘Jungle Red’, and hair done in a curiously old-fashioned forties’ style, which was echoed in her ankle-strapped, platform-soled stilettos, she was a formidable sight. When each guest was brought over to greet her, she extended her hand graciously, giving a more than passable imitation of our own dear queen. When Jimmy introduced me as ‘one of England’s newest and brightest young stars’, Miss Crawford didn’t take my outstretched hand. Her eyes swept me dismissively from top to toe, her lip curling disdainfully at my low-cut white organza top and full black and white tulle skirt. She obviously didn’t like what she saw so she didn’t deign to speak to me, but chatted animatedly to Jimmy. I wanted to tell her that my mother, a great Crawford fan, had named me after her, but I didn’t think she would have the stomach for such trivia." - Joan Collins

Winter Wonderland

Do the Right Thing

Geometry Lessons

Miss Stanwyck appears courtesy of MATTADORE!

When Bombshells Meet...

Jayne Mansfield and Cleo Moore

Jayne Mansfield and Jane Russell

Jayne Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe

Jayne Mansfield and Eva Gabor

Jayne Mansfield and Diana Dors

Jayne Mansfield and Joan Collins

Jayne Mansfield and Sophia Loren

...it's usually a bust.

As Thombeau Would Say...

...a girl and her poodle, pigeons, and pet monkey will soon be parted.

From the RETROZONE archives

If You Want That Quelque Chose